AUTHOR'S CORNER;
ME, MYSELF AND GOD KNOWS WHO!
.jpg)
Okay, I admit, I've been somewhat absent from the blogging scene recently! It's been quite a ride, a terrible trial and tribulation as far as I'm concerned! It seems like my persona has split into many mini ones and I have somehow lost my footing and fallen into the abyss of my warped mind! In there, there are many mini Sammar Allys all vying for a reinstatement of existence! I am - in plain English - a little lost and confused. Normally I am lost, but quite secure in my wilderness, but recently I've been stumbling along the Yellow Brick Road of mood swings and good old fashioned insecurities, and the Wizard of Oz is nowhere to be found!
Writers by nature are fragile, insecure creatures and tend to exist in a split personality world, where one side of them is society functional and the other is an insane world of imaginary friends and scenarios (the stuff where good fiction is made) and they tinker between 'normal self' and 'indulgent self', though mainly in the privacy of their own study, from the safety of their laptop! I have lost my grip and insanity seems to beckon, should I embrace it? I fear the consequences.
Okay, let me explain; normally I can hold it together, safe within the confines of my desk and away from prying eyes. As a writer I am free to indulge in controlled madness, silly insanities, and illogical logic. If, of course, I am left alone in order to do so without inflicting harm on society. However, life has been hectic of late and I have been forced to interact a little more than I would like, hence my insanity has not gone unnoticed! I find myself exposed and this my friends is not a good look for any writer! My moods as a result, have taken on a life force of their own and I have discovered many sides to myself which I had previously convinced myself were only within my fictional characters. It turns out that I have been writing about myself all along, only I didn't realise it!
Normally this is me; walking around with an air of composed dignity and sophistication, that is worthy of being a writer (yeah right, who am I kidding?) admired by friends and family. But not of late, no, you see I have not been able to write as often as I would have liked due to family matters which have taken up most of my time. The result.... devastation! Where my many split personalities had a place upon the screen of my word processor, without fiction, they simply manifested in a different way!
MISTY ME!
The darkness seemed to come from nowhere and my stable mind became somewhat unsettled; I found the noises in my literary head a little too loud and the itching in my keyboard clicking fingers a bit uncomfortable!
PARANOID ME!
Followed swiftly by complete and utter insecurities, which left me feeling rather paranoid and a little naked!
This seemed to be followed by bouts of self indulgence and gluttony which frightened my poor husband quite considerably!
Next came the happy hours, where life seemed not to matter and basically a 'to hell with it' attitude was adopted!
ANGRY BABE!
MAMA IS BACK!
More self indulgence.... and one very frightened husband!
HAPPY CHICK
And of course pretend happiness merged and surfaced and the kids became frightened!
Then inevitably the violent tendencies appeared, and although mainly in my office, in front of my computer, hubby was reluctant to approach me!
CRY BABY
And then of course, came the emotional floodgates that seemed to suddenly open wide! I was an emotional wreck.. I cried louder and harder than any baby!
I cried harder and stronger than a baby in a wet nappy! I cried like I never cried before!
And then came...
This, I think, by far, intimidated my poor husband the most; he just couldn't be sure he was safe with me!
Pleased to say, now that I am back on my computer and happily writing, all my split personalities have retreated back onto the pages of my novel and the world is once again safe! The moral of the story....Never take a writer away from her desk; it could be dangerous!
