AUTHOR'S CORNER;

QUESTION?

It only takes a minute to ask yourself and answer truthfully, the problem is, it can take a lifetime to get to that one minute!

The last month has been a shock wave of events and hurdles that have seemed to come out of nowhere!  It started with my father getting ill and ending up in hospital, where he currently resides due to a sudden stroke, dodgy ticker and other complications which have seemed to suddenly emerge out of the abyss!  This most unfortunate incident has left me somewhat bewildered and quite insecure. Watching, as I only can, my father in such a bad state, with not much that I can do to help, has shocked me to the core and put in my path a thousand questions.  Questions which I have been quietly asking myself for years, questions which have been tapping away at the doors of my mind; questions which I have put great effort into ignoring!  

We delude ourselves and walk through life happily ignoring that which disturbs us, thinking in our ignorance, that ignorance is a magic wand which will make issues disappear. Only things do not just disappear; thought is energy and energy is matter and matter never goes, it just changes form. It bends and twists and settles into where you can't get to it, and from time to time, it nudges you, pokes at you, stabs you right in the heart.  Thought is the dark shadow that follows you around, just above your head and slightly off centre.  It is your past, your present and most definitely your future; for once it has attached itself to you, it will never leave you, and it will slowly feed off you, until you end up in a hospital bed with numerous problems and a head full of questions.  

It occurred to me that thought can only be dissolved by answering its questions honestly.  Why am I so shy?  Why do I feel insecure?  Why am I so scared? Why do I feel so empty? Because that's what thought requires of you; it wants to know why you have put it there in the first place; it wants to know why you have made it your prisoner and entrapped it inside your mind.  And not meaning to sound 'New age' about it all, but if you do not heal your mind, heal your emotions, then how can you expect that your body will be healed?  If we reside inside our bodies, if our minds and emotions and spirit sit inside this living carcass, then surely if those rot, they will inevitably start to rot the carcass and decay the flesh!  

I see the questions I need to ask myself and know the answers, though I am scared to say them out loud, just in case I hear the truth, just in case I am compelled to stare at myself just a bit too long in the mirror.  I see the questions I need to ask myself, and I see the fear in my eyes and hear my heart beat just a little bit faster.  I see the questions in my father's eyes and wish to answer them for him, but I am wise enough to know that he needs to answer himself.

It only takes a minute to ask yourself and answer truthfully, but it can take a lifetime to get to that minute!