AUTHOR'S CORNER;

EASTER CHAOS AND SEVERE WRITER'S BLOCK!

Yes, that time is upon us once more; the time when every writer puts down their pen or computer and resigns her/himself to complete and utter chaos.  That time when every writer in the western world abandons all sense and falls down a twisted spiral of confusion and complete depression.  It is a time when all hope is lost, all morals are abandoned, all principals dispelled!  It is a time when dignity ceases to exist, sanity is thin and manners become a thing of the past!  Yes dear friends, it is Easter. and with it, comes the Easter Holidays!

Two long weeks of sunny bliss, with your young ones off school, nestling happily within the bosom of your love, holding onto your hands with their tiny, blessed ones, and looking up at you with loving, adoring eyes... and waiting, yes waiting, for YOU to entertain them!!

And they are lovely, of course they are, they are yours!  And the school knows this, and all its teachers cheer in happiness at the prospect of having two whole child free weeks, whilst they nestle happily in YOUR arms for TWO WHOLE WEEKS!  And further more, they want you, yes you, not the telly, not the Play Station, not the bike that you bought them last year, which they still have not played with yet!  No, they want you.  They want you to be there.

THEY WANT YOU TO TAKE THEM TO THE PARK!

Yes they do, they want you to take them to that local park and watch them play and run around whilst they completely ignore you. You obviously end up making friends with all the other abandoned parents!  Then of course there is the rush to that ice cream van, as they happily order everything off the menu and expect you to pay for it!

THEY NEED YOU TO ORGANISE THEIR HOLIDAY!

Yes, they want you to ring their friend's mum to organise a play date.  They need you to iron that one wrinkled beyond ironing shirt they have found in the back of their wardrobe, because that is the only shirt that will do for a play date!  Oh, and they no longer can be bothered to look after that family pet they had so wanted to have...so deal with it!

IT IS PLAY DAY, THEIR FRIENDS ARE COMING!

You bet, and guess who has been picked to entertain and amuse those lovely friends?  Yep, it's you!  Oh and some of them are vegetarians and others only eat meat!

YOU ARE EXPECTED TO APPEAR PERFECT FOR THEIR FRIENDS

Because all THEIR friend's mothers are super-dooper perfect and extra scrumptiously house proud!  Their mums bake their own bread!!

AND YET THEY ARE PROFOUNDLY EMBARRASSED BY YOUR LACK OF HOUSEKEEPING! 

It is heart breaking when you overhear your children apologise to their friends for how messy you are!  It is a shame filled moment!!

WHEN IT'S JUST YOU AND THEM, THEY FIGHT ALL THE TIME!

Yes, here is one of life's big mysteries, whenever you happen to find yourself alone with the kids, and there is no park to go to or friends to invite, and daddy is out to work, they seem to fight, fight, fight!  Oh, and yes, they make sure they fight around you!

GRANDMA TIME!

That's right, you spend most of the year avoiding your in-laws, making sure you see them only at Christmas, and along comes Easter and all of a sudden grandma is on your doorstep wanting to spend quality time with the kids.  She also wants to see how badly you are coping!

THE ERUPTION!

This usually happens in the last few days of the Easter break, so that without a shred of doubt, the entire holiday is remembered as you just being angry and grumpy!  You tried very hard to control yourself, and you smiled and obliged them, but something had to give!

THE RELUCTANT PHONE CALL TO MUM!

Yeah, you will, you'll ring your mum and let her know what a failure you've been and how much of a disaster the Easter break has been.  And she in turn will criticise all your mothering skills and will tell you she told you so!