THE GARDEN OF EDEN;

THE EQUALITY PROJECT....

On the subject of equality, said Adam to Eve one day, 'Let's divide the chores.'  Eve thought that was a great idea and she admired her beloved for being so open minded and up to date, so she set about writing a list of possible chores and showed it to Adam.

'Ah,' said Adam as he read through the list, 'I can't do the cooking, though I would love to; I would burn the meat and I hate the texture of vegetables.'  So Eve crossed out cooking from Adam's column and gave that chore to herself. Reasoning that it would be far better to do it herself than have to eat badly cooked food each evening. 

'And I simply can't do the washing!' said Adam.  'The soapy water brings my hands out in blisters and that will mean no work in the fields!'  So Eve crossed out the dish washing chore from Adam's column and added it to her own column of chores, sort of seeing his point of view; the fields did need attending to.

'I can't hunt,' said Adam rather assertively.  'Hunting tires me out and distracts me from attending to the fields!'  So once again Eve crossed the chore from Adam's column and reasoned that all the Chickisaurouses clucked nearby and catching them would not be too hard to do.  But she did protest ever so gently by stating the fact that she has to bear the babies, as she swapped a few of her chores for Adam's.   

'I won't get pregnant!' protested Adam after seeing the swapped chores.  'I'm simply not built for it, and I'll get terrible stretch marks!  Besides, your hips are wider and your belly can stretch and you have that womb thingy that makes you moody each month; God knows I have to put up with enough!'  So Eve begrudgingly crossed off that chore from Adam's list; it did make sense, she did own that womb thingy!  However she tried to point out that she would also be expected to provide the babies' feeds.

'I shan't breastfeed!' cried Adam.  'It'll mean I'd have to grow my boobs and I don't like wearing a bra!'  So Eve crossed that chore off Adam's column and wrote it in hers, looking down at her own ripe bosom and thinking it should be put to good use.  If only, she had said, then Adam might help with looking after the babies?

'I can't look after the children!' wailed Adam.  'I can't abide noisy, little people; it'll simply drive me insane!'  So Eve once again (and rather irritably) crossed off that chore and gave it to herself.  She glared at Adam as she hissed and blew the hair away from her sweaty face.  

Adam walked out of the cave without saying another word, he went off to the garden and found some twigs, he went down to the fields and plucked some fruits, he walked over to the stream and scooped up water in his bucket.  When he arrived back at the cave, he piled up the twigs, made a fire, placed the fruit into the bucket of water and boiled it over the fire.  He made himself a fruity brew and sat peacefully sipping.  Eve got really annoyed and she marched up to Adam.  'Adaaaaam! she yelled into his ear, which made him jump somewhat.  'You lazy good for nothing.....' she cried, 'what have you done all day then?  Giving me all the chores and look at you, sat there sipping fruit tea!'

'What do you mean?' cried Adam looking shocked to the core. 'I have spent the whole day reading and rearranging your list of chores, I have gone down to the field and hand picked the fruits, gathered these twigs from outside....made a fire and may I point out, MADE my own tea!  Who do you think I am, Superman??'