AUTHOR'S CORNER;
THIS JOB COMES WITH A WARNING!
So you want to be a writer? You have that itch and you simply need to portray to the world the talent and wisdom you possess. You can see yourself gracing the literary world and possibly enhancing all of mankind with your words of insightful wisdom. You can see the literary red carpet spread itself ahead of you as you take your first baby steps down the walk of author fame; friends, family and enemies alike will be helpless but to admire you and love you... oh how they'll love you!
Wonderful, great news - go for it. But before you do, be warned; this job does not come without its risks. Risks that only the well established, well sunk in and completely invested writers know only too well. So before you take up your mighty (metaphorical) pen, please take a moment to read the possible side effects;
1. By nature of the job and obsessive, compulsive storytelling madness, all writers are addicts in one form or another, they smoke, drink coffee or chew on food continuously throughout their working day! If you should experience signs of addictions, try to go for long walks to clear your head.
2. Sleepless nights may be experienced, especially when a story has taken hold and the plot is thickening! You will think about your novel day and night, night and day and if you do manage to fall asleep, you'll dream about it all night long! Seek assistance through alcoholic sleeping beverages!
3. No matter how good you are at writing, no matter how talented you may be, rejection will come to you in numerous occasions by the very same people who actually make a living by promoting people like you. One of the main reasons you will hear is that although you are talented, your writing is witty and style is unique, they can not place you among the same, same numerous writers that are out there! In the event of this occurrence, simply disregard their advice.
4. Frustration will start to seep into your everyday life. Anger too, you will become an angry person! if this occurs, take a cold shower and have a little nap.
5. You may feel like packing it all in, thus you are in danger of inflicting injury on your computer; don't do that, computers are expensive!
6. Due to compulsively working in your office day in and day out, your office may resemble a rubbish tip; this is a common side effect of the writing profession, if this happens seek immediate domestic attention!
7. In some cases your relationship may suffer as a result of prolonged writing. In this event, seek counselling and take a vacation with your spouse, the symptoms should subside in a few weeks.
8. On very rare occasions the writer may suffer from delusional arrogance, this is normally a side effect of becoming lost in your own mind. If symptoms persist consult your mother.
9. One in a hundred aspiring authors may experience signs of tinkering madness, this should pass within a year or so, drink plenty of wine.
10. In severe cases an aspiring author may experience symptoms of sudden reality jumping up at them, this should be handled carefully and expert advice should be sought immediately.
Good Luck and enjoy your new profession.
1. By nature of the job and obsessive, compulsive storytelling madness, all writers are addicts in one form or another, they smoke, drink coffee or chew on food continuously throughout their working day! If you should experience signs of addictions, try to go for long walks to clear your head.2. Sleepless nights may be experienced, especially when a story has taken hold and the plot is thickening! You will think about your novel day and night, night and day and if you do manage to fall asleep, you'll dream about it all night long! Seek assistance through alcoholic sleeping beverages! 3. No matter how good you are at writing, no matter how talented you may be, rejection will come to you in numerous occasions by the very same people who actually make a living by promoting people like you. One of the main reasons you will hear is that although you are talented, your writing is witty and style is unique, they can not place you among the same, same numerous writers that are out there! In the event of this occurrence, simply disregard their advice.5. You may feel like packing it all in, thus you are in danger of inflicting injury on your computer; don't do that, computers are expensive!6. Due to compulsively working in your office day in and day out, your office may resemble a rubbish tip; this is a common side effect of the writing profession, if this happens seek immediate domestic attention!7. In some cases your relationship may suffer as a result of prolonged writing. In this event, seek counselling and take a vacation with your spouse, the symptoms should subside in a few weeks.
8. On very rare occasions the writer may suffer from delusional arrogance, this is normally a side effect of becoming lost in your own mind. If symptoms persist consult your mother.
9. One in a hundred aspiring authors may experience signs of tinkering madness, this should pass within a year or so, drink plenty of wine.
No comments:
Post a Comment