THE GARDEN OF EDEN

THE GARDEN OF EDEN;

WOMEN ARE NEVER SATISFIED!

Said Eve to Adam one day, as he was settling down for the evening, 'Adam, I am fed up with wearing fig leaves; all the other Eves in the neighbourhood are wearing furs!'  So in attempt to please his beloved, Adam sought out a man named Selfridge, who was rather artistic, and he commissioned him to gather furs and fashion them into a garment for his wife. Eve wore the fur proudly and paraded elegantly in front of the other Eves; who were green with envy.

'Adam,' said Eve as she handed him a Cowasorous steak, 'I am tired of hunting for your food each day,I am a busy woman, and have so much work to do, wouldn't it be lovely if somehow our meat was caught and delivered to our cave?'  So Adam found a hunter named Asda and got him to hunt for their meat and have it delivered to their cave.  Eve was very happy with this and she boasted to the other Eves about how much spare time she now had on her hands.

'Adam,' said she on a rainy day,'ever since I have acquired those furs and I find that I have so much washing to do!  My hands are so sore and wrinkled from washing in the river!'

So Adam had a word with a friend of his, who owned a pool with mutated fish who swam around in circles and created a whirling motion, to see if perhaps they may put his pool to some use.  So Eve was able to dump the furs into the Whirlpool and the whirling motion tossed and turned her furs until they were clean. Eve found that she had time to grow her fingernails and she stained them a colour orange from the leaves of a plant that grew in her garden; much to the envy of the other Eves!

'I hate making fire!' she said to her husband as she cooked his dinner one evening.  'All that rubbing of sticks and banging two rocks together!  I wish I could find a better way!'

Adam went on the hunt for a Cookersarous; an elusive little dinosaur, who, if made angry enough, would blow fire out of his nostrils. After catching him, taming him and teaching him to obey man, he brought him back to their cave and set him in the corner by the food items and told Eve to hit him with a stick twice each time she needed fire, and to give him a cool drink of water when she wanted his fire to stop.  So Eve did this and she managed to use his fire to cook all sorts of delicious meals with.  And all the other Eves watched jealously as she fired up the Cookersarous and cooked her meals! 

'And wouldn't it be lovely if my feet did not have to endure the roughness of the ground?' she asked her beloved in a passionate embrace. Adam found a man named Clarks and he commissioned him to chop off the feet of a Bearasarous, hollow them out so that his Eve may place her own feet inside them.  Eve was delighted with this, as she slipped her feet inside the hollowed out Bearasarous feet and paraded like a catwalk model in her neighbourhood; this caused a few fights amongst the other Adams and Eves!  

Adam was quite pleased with his efforts and he rewarded himself with a cold drink from the mountain springs and an ant snack gathered from his own garden, and he sat down with his feet up feeling proud of himself. But his pleasure was soon cut short, as Eve stumped into the room fuming with anger. 'Why are you angry, my beloved?' asked Adam.  Eve turned to him and screeched 'You show me absolutely no attention!' she cried. 'I feel neglected in this relationship, I try to make myself pretty for you by wearing furs, by not scrubbing my hands to the bone and painting them orange for you! It takes a lot of effort to keep you happy Adam, what with firing up the Cookersarous each day, going to the Whirlpool to wash your clothes and having to wait for hours for a cave delivery from Asda and not to mention wearing those Bearasarous feet, which kill my back! But I do it all for you!'

Adam scratched his head and looked puzzled. 'What do you mean?' he asked.

'I mean, I do all this for you, but what have you done for me lately??' she said!